Kirsten (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} badsugar) wrote,@ 2003-01-23 09:37:00 |
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the book whore
It was exactly what I had thought. Nothing really. So with that said I'm moving on and letting go of the concept that has been lingering my mind for over 6 months. The concept with no actual structure until this past week. But I'm really tired of it. I feel like someone's yo-yo. Who am I kidding, I've been a toy for well over 7 years now.
Sad.
Well dwelling on mistakes that have destroyed my life do nothing but make me bitter and angry. And I really don't want to remember my life like that. I don't want to die tomorrow and think that even till the end it made me hateful because my mistake has screwed things up but it does not make me. Their part in it does not consist of all that they are, its only a part. There is good in everyone and everything.
I can forgive.
For so long I felt I couldn't. I remember posting an entry saying I couldn't. But I can. There are certain things that are difficult but there with that said there are certain things that I can let go. I have this wonderful dream. But I will not share.
I'm thinking maybe the breakfast buddy and I should go to lunch. But I am not sure. We have not gone out in so long. I need to put new order to my life. I like that. I also need to go to the library - :) I like that too. So have I told you that I'm a book whore? I just ordered to new "used" books off of amazon.com marketplace. I know. I try to limit my book purchases to the availability of library books. If they are at the library I borrow them, if not I order them. I think I keep that company afloat. Okay maybe not that bad. But I do enjoy books.
Well its wonderful Wednesday and I've spent Monday in circles, Tuesday in shock and today I'm back to circles. I wonder if its deliberate. Don't really care anymore. I like know that no matter how annoyed, frustrated, happy, excited, confused, doubtful... that I can clear my mind and enjoy the present moment no matter what.
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." -Ziggy
It was exactly what I had thought. Nothing really. So with that said I'm moving on and letting go of the concept that has been lingering my mind for over 6 months. The concept with no actual structure until this past week. But I'm really tired of it. I feel like someone's yo-yo. Who am I kidding, I've been a toy for well over 7 years now.
Sad.
Well dwelling on mistakes that have destroyed my life do nothing but make me bitter and angry. And I really don't want to remember my life like that. I don't want to die tomorrow and think that even till the end it made me hateful because my mistake has screwed things up but it does not make me. Their part in it does not consist of all that they are, its only a part. There is good in everyone and everything.
I can forgive.
For so long I felt I couldn't. I remember posting an entry saying I couldn't. But I can. There are certain things that are difficult but there with that said there are certain things that I can let go. I have this wonderful dream. But I will not share.
I'm thinking maybe the breakfast buddy and I should go to lunch. But I am not sure. We have not gone out in so long. I need to put new order to my life. I like that. I also need to go to the library - :) I like that too. So have I told you that I'm a book whore? I just ordered to new "used" books off of amazon.com marketplace. I know. I try to limit my book purchases to the availability of library books. If they are at the library I borrow them, if not I order them. I think I keep that company afloat. Okay maybe not that bad. But I do enjoy books.
Well its wonderful Wednesday and I've spent Monday in circles, Tuesday in shock and today I'm back to circles. I wonder if its deliberate. Don't really care anymore. I like know that no matter how annoyed, frustrated, happy, excited, confused, doubtful... that I can clear my mind and enjoy the present moment no matter what.
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." -Ziggy
