Kirsten's Journal

will she?
You know what? She fucked it up. Okay I needed to get that off my chest. With that said I can move on. So hey whatever, life goes on. I'm feeling a bit ranty but I'm also feeling very detached. I'm also feeling that craving for a BLONDE BROWNIE, or perhaps a chocolate chip cookie. Its been months really, well maybe not that dramatic. I had "dessert" on Thanksgiving, like real dessert. I was being honest, the truth is that dwelling and lingering about it only makes it worse. Am I destined to hear her moan forever? To complain, and boohoo herself?

I have enough trouble. No matter what she would complain. So what, life is hard. I love her though.

My beloved wife.

I know.

So the weekend is coming to a close and I'm desperate. Still. I know though, I know the truth is time. But I fear. Fear. Its a prank, or worse yet other extreme thoughts.

My beloved.....

I know.

My nails are picky. Wait I'm picky. Scratchy, fidgety nervous energy. She annoys me how anxious she is to RUN from the problem and its the most fucking silly thing. To openly say the words. She is so fucking destructive. It annoys me. You point it out but she is too much of a wall to accept.

Whatever.

Whatever.

I know. Hey. You can't change that.

Lovingkindness.

Peace.

Happiness.

My favorite thing is being nice to strangers.

Freedom of my heart and mind.

She loves me.

I haven't spoke with her in so long, she suffers from eating disorders and what not. Its funny how things appear to you, then you see how everything is pure pain. I watched the 2 fat ladies today and I'm in love with that show. Its the pure essence of natural cooking and fat...fat...goodness. The country side. Its a dream of castles and country, don't we all dream that? I guess not. Or a beautiful home in Italy. Aaah nice.

Well hey.
I'm logging off.
have a
good - night!
"It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself."
-Eleanor Roosevelt