Kirsten's Journal

young again
I'm up. Of course. Because I was somewhat anxious I had a hard time sleeping last night. NOT that it kept me up all night because that was not the case but between the others being here and with the thought in my the back of my mind I woke a couple times. In truth of course I'm anxious but you know? What's a girl to do? Nothing. I have some stuff lined up in event that there is nothing for me. You know, as long as I'm alive its going to go on.

So I did in fact wake a little earlier, which I don't like doing now that the others are here. She is such a light sleeper and there she is in my main room always. So of course she said something about the time. I heard her grumbling about.

It is so cold here today. I turned the heat off last night so it was freezing this morning. I don't like sleeping with the heat on (its electric). Ick. So I need to start working on my updates and probably look for a temp job today.

I've decided its time to let him go. He obviously doesn't care about me.

So when I finally hear from the ideal, its no information. Its nothing. Its like deliberate. Its a game. Its completely whacked. But what can I do. Nothing. I just asked an assortment of questions. We'll see? So I had all these brilliant ideas the trouble is that I seem to be the only one who believes them to be brilliant. The trouble is that I await on the future of some outcome that is nowhere but inside.

So letting it go and only I can move on with me. And I will. Because if I don't then that would be giving up. I feel that old fire burning. I feel spiritual. I feel young again.

So today I will do my best to sort thru matters. Then I will move onto the next step. I'm being circled by gray and black. Its amusing. :)

"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it."
-Bernard Bailey