Monday, January 20th, 2003

Time	Event
10:02a	and hence we have no... I have a hotmail email account (doesn't everyone?), anyway its unbelievable how many "adult" spammails you get! I find it hard to believe that spamming people can actually make you money? It seems so unproductive. How many people even read them? How many open them? I could never spam someone its such a silly waste of time. I have work to get started on for next week but I've honestly be reluctant in hopes of other stuff. I know chicken counter. I really have not been counting or truly considering. I've been kind of waiting for an outcome. I found the perfect quote today, and I'm not sure WHO said but it goes like this: "Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans." Is that so fitting? We all run around PLANNING our "futures" when we don't know if we will be here in 20 seconds. Not saying we should not plan because that is a part of living, just that we should not spend our time WORRYING or having anxiety of what we have done or could have done, or will do. Its just interesting yes? Well I believe it is. So they are very excited and so am I. I made this perfect photo. Its stitched together and it looks perfect. I've learned how to do some great editing techniques with that tutorial. My interests are in art and creating. I've been thinking maybe studio arts with a focus on digital / multimedia, I wonder? I can't believe how evened out it appears. What cracks me up is HOW quickly I can be gone now! And if there are any powers to be out there then this will be the one. Besides that I think this is the one for them. You know, I really do. But haven't I thought that with everyone? hehe. I'm feeling very optimistic. You know I need to focus more energy on my breathing. Well this girl has MUCH to do. Have a super - delicious - SUNDAY. "The very essence of the creative is its novelty, and hence we have no standard by which to judge it." -Carl R. Rogers (Comment on this)
8:11p	close my corners Well there we have it. They are here. I wonder would she still do it if I were not? If she said no, what does that say? It says that its not a good thing doesn't it? I don't know. I'm quite concerned what if he doesn't show again? I really don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know, but I do know its a huge waste to contemplate the situation any further. I was enjoying watching the red carpet. Yes, I'm a red carpet junkie. But with the others there I feels superficial. I felt like I constantly needed to leave. They stunk too. So whatever. I have no idea about anything and I probably still won't tomorrow and I don't really care. I'm feeling blue suddenly. I guess he is truly saying he doesn't feel like dealing with me any longer. That he never really loved me. I guess that is what they are both saying. I guess it doesn't matter. The truth is that I need to close my corners and drop it. Wow, I'm really feeling it. I'm going ... talk to you later. (Comment on this)

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