Sunday, January 19th, 2003

Time	Event
9:58a	standard ramble: Act II, Sc. 2, line 32 You know I have tons concepts for all different things but the risks outweigh the good. I would prefer to not even bother. I don't even like it. I just settle. I have no choice in that. We make the best of what we have to. But its been so long away that I start to think well maybe? I start to feel free of set obligations. But also I can't stand that I am so limbo-fied! It leaves me with nil. I do not spend my entire day thinking these things. The thought passes then goes. Friends that are like a disease are the worst. I can't stand it. The negative energy just envelopes him. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I feel sad. But at the same time I find it hard to sit and enjoy him. No preconceptions. No illusions. Just you and me. Right? That is how it should always be. Just the vibe and true. Just the pure love of life and each other. Who knows? I'm sure you don't! I've been searching for my new RAW Award winner and I found a nice contender but instead I think I may write a review on her site for next week? She is a gorgeous girl with fake knockers, but they are delightful to say the least. But I'm not sure about her. Damn I can't believe it. It looks perfect out today. I'm lost in my thoughts and that kind of bugs me. That is not what I want. Today I think I will hit the library. I'm listening to the Cranberries but there is only one song that I truly enjoy. I sent an email to amateur voice which is run by the naked nicole crew in hopes that i can write reviews for them. it would be nice getting paid doing something that i enjoy doing...criticizing freely. woooha. I hope all goes well with them. I really do. I can't stand this anymore...going there with nothing ever being accomplished. What if they cannot get out? They are getting such a bum deal. I pray for them. I really need to go. Have a super Saturday. "Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once." -William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar, Act II, Sc. 2, line 32." (Comment on this)
10:26p	Lovely Folk That is where my total flakeoffedness comes from! dang huh. Oh well. So they will be returning tomorrow and well there might be something new? We don't know. I just want for them to be happy. I like that happiness is not in SOMETHING that happens but the outlook. The moment. I'm enjoying this cd, Rosey... Today I went to the library and I found this interesting book on the history of Talmud. I didn't get it because I had some specific books I wanted to get. The first book is the The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book (which is eeeh okay so far), then It's Easier Than You Think: The Buddhist Way to Happiness (which I'm thoroughly enjoying), and the other book I'm reading is Pride and Prejudice, which is pretty good. I need to read more classics. Whenever I look at classic literature I wonder why I never read that book? In high school I rarely remember reading. Of course we did the Shakespeare stuff but that was pretty much it. In the classes I've taken in college we read a few things but it was mostly about your writing than your reading. So tomorrow is the day they return and to be honest with you I'm a bit worried about this house. I hope so. I hope something comes together because I'm starting to REALLY PANIC. I know. NO NO. I found this lovely restored 1930's house with all hardwood. It was beautiful. I can see me there. My family is the type to worry of ghost, but I think if there are ghost they will love me for myself. Whacky girl? Absolutely. I just want to be SAFE. So you know what movie i adore - ADORE... The Money Pit with Tom Hanks. Oh my that was one of the best funniest movies. The was a great movie. I remember watching it with my bestfriend when we were little. We laughed so hard. Of course an actual money pit would NOT BE funny. So monday is COMING IN quickly RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT? I hope so!! ack. I know. I fear I will hear the same thing on monday that I've heard for WEEKS. I fear that I will still not know. If that is the case I will absolutely need some assitance. Oh lordy. I had some good concepts but they are all rubish. Well I need to get some reading done then get to bed. Have a nice Saturday evening Lovely Folk. (Comment on this)

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